I don't wanna grow up!

I was looking at Apartment Therapy today, a website that I've wasted far too many hours on looking at peoples unique and magnificent home decor, and I stumbled upon this article: 

How To Have an Adult Apartment on a Budget

The article is great. Please check it out if you get a chance. Granted, it told me about some sources that I already know about (Craigslist, Ikea, garage sales) but it also recommended shopping for old treasures at relatives houses. Such a great idea! But somehow I had never considered it. Being far from home it's not currently an option for me, but the next time my roommate visits her parents I think I'll tag along. 

Aside from the suggestions offered in this article, I thought I'd throw in a few of my own:

DIY: Of course. Over the last year of trying to make my money stretch as far as possible and, at one point, actually considering and attempting to build my own couch, I've found that DIY home projects either turn out great and they become your own personal hell. So I'll begin with the cautionary tale:

With the couch that I tried to build I decided to start with a wooden twin bed frame and mattress. The idea was to create something that could easily be transformed from a couch to a bed without having to pay big bucks for something like it at Ikea. Only after I bought the twin mattress and base off of Craigslist (for about $40) did I realize I was never going to complete this project. Even though creating a backboard and firm pillows for the bed had seemed like a quick and cost effective alternative, the actual supplies and labor ended up being too much for someone who was going to school full time, working, and didn't have a car to pick up supplies. I know, what was I thinking?

Needless to say, I ended up having a twin bed in my living room for a good six months; a good alternative to sitting on the ground but certainly not a couch. 

So I guess the moral of he story is this: DIY is great, but know your boundaries and make a price inclusive list of supplies before buying anything. If you know you're the type of person who use one of your days off to sand and cut and paint to your little heart's desire, then take on one of those big scary projects. My mom is one of these people. She always has something in the front in the midst of being transformed. I admire that. I myself usually opt for the lighter projects. I think a lot of us are impatient and want quick results, so a project that can be finished in a day or less is our best bet. 

Some projects for us impatient (and perhaps eternally broke like myself) boys and gals to consider:

Simple Displays

this can range from using small hooks to display a teacup collection in the kitchen to re-purposing old wire hangers on your wall as record or book displays to something as simple as using wire or fish line with colorful clothes pins to display postcards or photographs. I've personally done all three of these and they each took less than an hour to complete. 

Sewing projects

I recently purchased a tiny sewing machine (pictured below) and taught myself how to use it. It was under $30 on Amazon and it's more than paid for itself. Having some kind of sewing machine, no matter how small or inexpensive, will make a huge difference when it comes to making things for your apartment. One of the cheapest ways to spruce up a space is to add really bold window treatments. The Goodwill always has a large selection of sheets and fabric that are reasonable and easily transformed into curtains. Throw pillows are another expensive item that can be made for very cheap. Aside from using fabric, old pillow cases, or leftovers from your sheet curtains, pillows can be made from sweaters and old shirts. Remember that old sweater in your closet that you love to touch but makes you look like a powder puff? Why not make a pillow out of it?

This is my dinky little sewing machine which, as you can see, I can easily hold with one hand. If you're interested in buying one like it click on the photo. 

In the next couple of weeks I'll be posting tutorial videos for a few of the projects I've mentioned above (including the record display, clothespin picture line, and sweater pillows). I'm waiting for a digital camera to arrive in the mail since my old camera is no more. I hope this is helpful to some of you and if you have any ideas you'd like to share, please feel free to post them as comments!

xSP

2 Years Later

I'm back. The last two years have been a catalyst for a huge amount of change in my life. In the days, months, and hopefully, years following, I will be using this blog as a place my explorations as a student a long way from, a young lady figuring out men and if they're worth it, a DIY adventurer, and ranter and raver of a great many things in between.

I'm glad to be home.

xSP

More Gaga

I just discovered something quite beautiful from Lady Gaga's Bad Romance:

I want your Psycho
Your Vertigo stick
I want you in my Rear Window
Baby you're sick

Anyone else see the theme here? All Alfred Hitchcock films. This so made my day. Now I'm obsessively clawing through all of her lyrics to find more extremely clever homages.

And while I'm here, I'd like to share with all of you the song that I've been listening to religiously for about two weeks now. Maybe it's the strained lounge singer voice, or the twangy black and white western guitar sound, I don't know, but I'm in love.

If Love is a Red Dress (Hang me in Rags)

Obscene amounts of... documentation.

This is the beginning. I began documenting my eating habits the morning of January 6th, 2010. In addition, I also began documenting at least one memorable moment from each day.

January

The 6th- Standing outside an apartment with several friends and our friend Christian emerging from the hot room steaming. He literally had steam billowing off the top of his head for a good five minutes.

• An obscene amount of chocolate kisses



• 2 pieces of pizza



• I went to Carls Jr. for the first time in my entire life and shared the following with J.r. and Cait:
  

1. Zucchini Poppers



2. Waffle Fries



3. Chicken strips
   

• 1 Squirt
  

The 7th- Driving up to Snow Bowl and sitting in the car while a man who looked like James Earl Jones stood by the trunk and stared at us.

• 1 Apple Granola Bar



• Mexican Food at El Charo's
  

1. 1 Enchilada



2. 1 Tostada



3. 1 shredded beef taco



4. Beans and Rice
   

The 8th- Making a fork statue at Cocoas and placing our tip within it

• A toasted English Muffin with Peanut butter and jelly



• Some angel hair pasta with Parmesan



• One teaspoon of granola



• 2 teacups of milk



• A Cocoa's hamburger with sweet potato fries



• 2 Saltines dipped into Caits potato soup



• 1 tomatoe slice
  

The 9th- Buying chicken, waffle mix, and Kool-Aid at the grocery store as well as going to see The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus with Kaia for her birthday

• Chicken and Waffles with syrup



• Milk



• A Pepsi



• Eggplant Parmesan with bread sticks and salad



• A Shirley Temple



• Candy at the movies:
  

1. Some Junior Mints



2. Some Cookie Dough bites



3. A Peach ring
   

The 10th- Staying up really late even though Cait had work the next day to take about a million pictures and it never getting old.

• Egg McMuffin



• Some eggs with green chili's and a little sausage



• Some Funyuns



• Ice Cream



• Dots



• Pepsi



• Two tacos with Avocado



• Yet another Pepsi



• 3 Marshmallows



• a Graham cracker
  

All in all, a healthy day.

The 11th- Talking to someone who I though had forgotten me and then realizing they still remembered my name. Finding out my flight was cancelled and being able to have one more day with my friends.

• 2 Cups of Coffee



• Hash browns, two poached eggs, and toast with grape jelly



• Some kettle corn



• A granola almond cookie



• More black coffee



• A chicken quesadilla shared with Andi at Ralberto's



• A piece of pizza...Feta? The works?... I was a bit hazy

The 12th- Dying Zach's hair using bobby pins, tinfoil, toothbrushes, and all. Feeling like a professional.

• Two little pancakes with sprinkles ad syrup



• Some roasted almonds



• Some spicy rice chips



• An airplane coke



• A bottle of Pepsi
  

The 13th- Sleeping at the Sheraton (for free- Thanks United Airlines). Coming home.

• Another airplane coke



• Stir fry with brown rice



• a little cinnamon roll



• a cup of milk



• a Pepsi



• M&M's



• another mini Cinnamon roll



• Spaghetti and turkey meatballs
  

And I just can't help myself

Hello again old friend.

I'm back! I'm finally back! And I'm so happy to be. So happy in fact, that I could do a magic show!

If that video wasn't proof enough, I'm glad to let everyone know that I have begun a passionate love affair with 'Arrested Development'. My friend Andi let me borrow Season 1 a few days back and I'm almost done. I hate that I always begin my love affairs with the shows that have been road hogged and left out wet (canceled, I think is what I was getting at there). I guess I've just always been attracted to those 70 year old hookers who can't really figure out where the lipstick goes anymore.

Now that I'm done with that, it's time for me to get back into the swing of things. As promised, I am sticking to my New Years resolution of documenting what I eat every day for a year. I'll be adding these periodically. No real order, not that that's coming as a real shock to anybody.

I'm also going to be filling you guys in on my most recent cooking endeavours while simultaneously shoving a plethora of movie critiques down your throats after, of course, I finely chopping them in my new food processor which deserves a golden pedestal, I said God Damn!

So much to tell and so much time to tell it.

"Don't tell me not to live just sit and putta. Life's candy and the sun's a bowl of butta. Don't bring around the cloud to rain on my parade."

So my next few posts are going to be entirely about food. I'm on a cooking binge. It's my new personal therapy and I think it might be working. I love creating things. If I was a psychiatrist and I had to diagnose myself, I'd probably tell me that I have an extreme God complex and I am so okay with that. This is probably why I've spent more than 5 hours (in one sitting) playing the Sims and then finding ways to kill the Sims or ruin their lives through means of pregnancy and electrocution. On that note, if any of you feel so inclined to buy me 'Sims 3', I wouldn't complain.

So my first installment of my cooking frenzy is the evolutionary chain of cakes that has occured over the last two months:

The first- Made from a store bought mix. The frosting was also store bought. What can I say? I was young, I was naive. But it was a little bit lovely.

The Second- Also store bought. I didn't even take a picture of the final product because I somehow managed to make a monster out of something that started out so beautiful. And these blue swirls didn't even show once everything was said and done. Oi, what a shanda! (Said in the most Jewish mother voice I can muster.)

The Third- My masterpiece! The first cake I've ever made entirely from scratch. Even the frosting! And it tasted like real cake. I cannot believe the power of flour and eggs.

There is only one piece of this magnificent creation left. It may have to go rotten, I can't stand to destroy such art. Okay, okay, I'm done being lofty and above you. Now everyone go make a cake and tell me all about it.

"I could so go for like a huge cookie right now, with like, a lamb kabob simultaneously."

OH GAWD! I used to be so opposed to using the word 'Gawd', but it is completely necessary for this occasion. I just got back from Target yet again and I got to see the Rodarte collection. Gawd, it was so beautiful: floral rain coats, nude tulle dresses, lace leopard dresses with big bows down the back, and the most beautiful sheer purple tulle tops with big neck bows that are to die for. I am in love with everything about that collection.

I will eventually buy everything I can when it all goes on sale. That will be a grand day.

So Long Kido

I guess I'm a little behind the times, but I just found out this morning that Brittany Murphy had passed away at 32 years old. I'm not sure what to say or do, but I feel like life is a tad bleak right now, and I wish people didn't have to die. I'll miss Brittany Murphy very much. I wish she could've lived a longer life. Farewell Brittany.

Filo? Filo!

I am fascinated by filo dough. I'm being completely serious. It's the dough used when making the Greek pastry Baklava (which I might add is delicious as eff). I'm obsessed. I was watching Bobby Flay's cooking show on Food Network a couple weeks ago, and they showed this one bakery in Hell's Kitchen; apparently this is the only bakery in the United States that still makes there filo dough by hand. The process of making this dough is insane! I can't even explain it. I've included this weird video with a Scottish narrator that shows the process of creating the dough. The amazing part begins at about 1 minute and 30 seconds into the video. This part is called 'opening the pastry'.

I'm ridiculous, I know, but these are the things I love.

I googled 'bitch quotes' and this is what I got: “Sure, the lion is king of the jungle but airdrop him into Antarctica, & he's just a penguin's bitch"

LIFE IS GOOD.

I just finished all finals. It's truly lovely. Today I had a final in my 'Theatrical Movement & Mime' class. My group had to perform last and my stomach just about fell out of my butt. I was so incredibly nervous all day long. But our group went, we were moderately funny after I screamed "Filthy Whore!" in the middle of our scene, and all is right in the world. I'm very excited for Christmas even though myself and everyone I know is currently a broke ass mother fucker. So on the 25th I'll probably spend the day opening packages of homemade cookies, socks, old shoes, and cards that say 'It's the thought that counts, and at least I thought about buying you an 8GB IPod. Right?' I'm more okay with this scenario than I should be. So for now I'm writing and drinking tea and apparently receiving an A for the semester in Dramatic Writing! Yeah BITCHES! Okay, so it's not that big of a deal, but I was happy as all get out when I saw that 96% staring back at me.

Oh, I also convinced someone to give me a piggy-back ride after class today. It was grand. And he was male, so props to me.

This entry has had no real theme, but I'm considering going to sleep at a reasonable hour tonight, so for now I'll just say "Good night folks".

Good gracious, Ass is bodacious

I went Christmas shopping today and while I was in Borders I started talking to their general manager. I asked him if they had 'Pygmy' by Chuck Palahniuk (which I've yet to read), and this guy lit up like... a Christmas tree? Screw. I was trying to come up with some super clever comparison to how a prostitute would light up after winning a life time supply of condoms. The words aren't here. He was more than moderately happy to meet another Chuck fan. There. Anyway, we talked about books for like half an hour and he recommended that I read Tom Robbins ('Even Cowgirls get the Blues', 'Still Life with Woodpecker'). This guy,whose name escapes me, but it was something along the lines of Ale...An.... something Italian sounding and uncommon, told me he had lived in Portland Oregon for quite some time, where I was born, and that he had met Chuck Palahniuk several times and even has a Chuck poster that was personally autographed. For those of you that don't know, Chuck Palahniuk is a fantastic edgy writer who has made such contributions as 'Invisible Monsters', 'Choke', and 'Fight Club'. General manager guy told me that one time he wrote to Chuck and in return was personally sent a box filled with various Chuck-esque things including dismembered Barbie dolls. Really rad guy, and after talking to him I'll never run out of things to read.

Now that I'm back on my Chuck obsession, I've also stumbled across his official fan site ChuckPalahniuk.net. It's a fantastic site that's directly involved with the author and it's free to sign up.

"God help the Mister who comes between me and my sister. Gold help the sister who comes between me and my man."

It's that time of the year! And I'm feelin' it. I went to a darling little sweet shop downtown earlier and had the biggest piece of 'Death by Chocolate' cake ever!

Such a charming little shop that felt like Christmas condensed.

Even earlier today I went to Eureka to buy a pair of black pantyhose. Upon checking out, I noticed that the somewhat matronly 30-ish woman in front of me in line was buying the following:

1. A white bra

2. A Barbie Doll

3. A red neglige

4. A bottle of Carbernet Sauvignon Wine

It came to a total of $103. Holy holy.

Auld Lang Syne

I've been thinking recently about my New Years resolution, and I think I've come up with a real winner combination:

1.) I will record everything I eat (not in a "I have a gym membership that I use and I think adding up calories and saturated fats is a good way to spend my free time" kind of way) but rather a daily entry in my blog that will hopefully always include pictures and humorous stories about food. Maybe if you guys know what I'm consuming, I'll stop being such a fat depressed whore. I kid, I kid.

2.) I vow to read every single Charles Mee play ever written, and honey, there are a shit ton (45 to be exact). I've already read 9 I believe, but I have a hefty amount of crazy esoteric wonderfulness to still get through.

Let me know what your New Year's Resolutions are. Get a job, start your own rodeo, acquire obesity?

"you don't know how much you love your children until they're gone."

Time for another shout out to one of the many things that I love and adore. The photo above is a scene from Charles Mee's Paradise Park. I was so amazed to find pictures from the actual play I got to see in New York two years ago. I was in this room with this very stage before me, these actors breathing the same air as I, less than 50 feet away. I'm totally geeking out, but that's what theater does to me. Especially Charles Mee's plays.

Also, I recently found out that in my garbage dump of a situation, ie. being stuck at Humboldt State for another semester, I will now be able to see Hotel Cassiopeia again (a Charles Mee play focused on the artist Joseph Cornell). Maybe they'll hold student auditions?? Yuh yuh.

So Paradise Park was the most amazing, crazy, spectacular, adjective, adjective, adjective play I've ever seen and I feel that I need to share an excerpt from it with the world:

The Prom Dress

[Nancy is standing in the middle of an RV campground
wearing her prom dress.]

NANCY
I think, really, if I could just get a job
that would be in some way useful,
like, for example, if I worked for a fan magazine
say an entertainment magazine
about movie stars and soap opera actors
and it made a profit of, say, $400 million a year
and gave maybe $80 million of that to charity
I would think: this is a useful life to live
whereas the way it is I think I'm a completely useless person.

I'm not the sort of person who blurts things out.

In fact, just the opposite
so much so that
when I went to the emergency room
because I thought I was having a heart attack
the doctor said you're just panicking
from stress
and you could have a stress heart attack
if you don't just let things out a little more and relax.
Sometimes I think nothing is chance
everything is fate
and then other times I think everything is chance.
I wish I'd have been more, I don't know,
stable.
Which I haven't so much been.
And I could have settled down and taken care of Darling
and it wouldn't have seemed
as it seems to me now
that my life has just gone by like a stampede
and left me in the dust.
And then when we were going through the Grand Canyon
and this little boy was vomiting pizza on Morton's feet
which just freaked Morton out
so he stood up in the boat
we all went into the water
I don't know what happened to the little boy
as far as I know he never got back up again to the surface
But partly I was glad I'd lost you Morton.
I mean, I hoped in a way that you hadn't drowned,
but I used to be in love with a man
who didn't love me as much as I loved him
and now I don't love you as much as you love me
and even though I can't bear to leave you
because I know how much that hurts
still, I wasn't hoping you would exactly drown
but, Jesus, Morton,
like everyone else,
sometimes I wish my husband were dead.
And Darling
we took her to see Cats 23 times
and we took her to see Phantom of the Opera 17 times
but even so
you don't know how much you love your children until they're gone.

........................

Lipstick Stained Mugs and Mis-matching Socks

Okay, so right now I'm watching 'Bewitched'. Not the neat-o, vintage, "I'm so cool for watching this" one from the 60's, but the new bastardized one that I absolutely adore. It even stares Will Ferrel, and even though every fiber of my being tells me that I should hate him, I can't get enough of his pig like whining, and his fat sweaty stomach which, I might add, is covered in what may be classified as chest hair but looks like a... a uh.... there is nothing to liken it to.

P.s.- Jason Schwartzman and Steve Carell are both in this movie. Can the three of us please get married?

So on a less creepy note, I've been in Eureka for the last few hours. I spent like 2 hours in PetCo. This particular store had a bird room that was basically a sound proof glass box in the middle of the store. I went inside of it and felt more relaxed than I have in months. It was amazing. I watched one bird for about 20 minutes straight. He was desperately trying to get to this little hanging perch in the middle of the cage and no matter what he did he couldn't get there. It was devastating. Then I got bored and looked at the turtles for like 2 minutes (I'm pretty sure one was dead, but I'm hoping against it). Then I saw 3 mice trying to run on a wheel all at the same time. It was terrifying but thrilling. Then I went to Pier 1 Imports and there were lots of lovely things and kitchen gadgets shaped like various animals.

It's been a wonderful day.

You see what I'm saying? Let me know what you think that 'chest dressing' looks like.

Duck Feet

So I found these yellow flats on sale for $3 at Rue 21 when I was in Flagstaff, AZ a few weeks back. I love them, I wear them like they're going out of style. I was at the mall in Eureka, CA and I found the same shoes, also on sale for $3. I bought them without hesitation. I might be going back for a third pair. These cheap yellow shoes are all I care about. I'm a woman obsessed.

A day late and a dollar short

More like 3 days late and 3 dollars short, but now I'm here to report on my Thanksgiving!

• The dinner table for 5 (My parents, my grandparents, and myself).

• The Turkey

• The jicama and mango salad that I made all by myself (recipe compliments of Sonny Anderson on Food Network).

Animals in and Around my House

Queeny

A large black woman in her past life. She was probably very good at making grits and most likely participated in a Baptist church choir.

Connie

Not my dog. Will sit there for hours without moving. Terrifying as shit. Was probably a bouncer or a fucking psycho in a past life.

Tommy

In a past life, this cat was definitely one of those white guys that enjoyed egg salad and scrubbed his toilet with a toothbrush religiously every day.

This is a picture of him mid sneeze.

Word of the Day

Bro

1. Friend; commonly used in greetings.

"What’s up bro?"
"I vouch for Todd, we've been bros since way back."

2. Traditionally white males who wear rugby shirts and baseball caps. They are most commonly found at college parties playing beerpong or holding red plastic cups waiting for chances to exclaim how "Awesome!" this party is or how "Wasted!" they are. Many "bro's" have spiked hair and frosted tips, and enjoy listening to Jack Johnson or Dave Matthews band while playing Xbox.

Related subjects:

Bro Hoe: A white girl who hangs out with "Bro's". These girls like to smoke weed, drink beer, be ignorant, and they DGAF (don't give a fuck.) Basically a bitch who thinks she's one of the guys because she rolls with his crew, but those guys only chill with her because she gives them head.

Bro Rape: When one bro rapes another bro. Internet Chat-rooms for bands like Dave Matthews, Jack Johnson, and Incubus have proven to be a hotbed for bro predators looking to pray on unsuspecting bros with phrases like "chill", or "dude let's just chill", or "hey bro, we're chillin'. Wanna get some beers and chill?"